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Cant cope

2003-06-14 - 8:27 p.m.

No, I can't forget this evening

With your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile,

But in your eyes,

your sorrow shows

Yes it shows

No, I can't forget tommorrow

When I think of all my sorrow

And I had you there, but then I let you go

And now its only fair that I should let you know

What you should know

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't live

I can't give anymore

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't give

I can't give anymore

Well I can't forget this evening

With your face as you were leaving

But I guess that's just the way the story goes

You always smile, but in your eyes, your sorrow shows

Yes it shows

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't live

I can't give anymore

I can't live

If living is without you

I can't live

I can't give anymore

...If living is without you...

This is how I feel if you change it from being a love song.

I mean, I loved Mr Ockenden, but in an inexplainable way. I didnt love him like a brother, or a friend, or even a lover, I just loved him.

I know it is going to take me a while to get over this.

Every part of me isnt coping. Emotionally, mentally, physically. I keep crying, shaking, I havent stopped thinking about him since the moment I found out on Thursday.

I dont want to go to school on Monday, but I might just to find out the school's plan for his funeral.

I feel so bad. I cant cope. Too much death. And this one was like a tidal wave. First there's little ones, then they get stronger, then there's the big one that knocks you off your feet.

I look like totall shit. I havent had a shower since Wednesday night. I will tomorrow seeing I'm going to see Delta.

When I read his Death notice in the paper today, I couldnt control myself.

I just cant cope. He meant so much to me.

Please visit me and tell me it will be ok Ocko. Please. I need closure.

I dont know how I will handle the funeral.

Mum said that because he was in a car crash they probably wont have an open coffin. I dont think I'd be able to handle seeing him dead.

sing - scream

- - 2008-05-06
- - 2008-03-21
this is something worth fighting for - 2008-03-10
Can't think of a time when I needed this more - 2008-03-01
There goes my hero, he's ordinary - 2008-02-19